You put your Left Foot In and You put Left Foot Out . . .

You Left Foot In and You shake it all about . . .

You do the Hokie Pokie . . .

And you turn your yourself around . . .

That’s what’s it’s all about.

Incredulously!

Of all the kids in his kindergarten class . . .

My son … my little Tap Dance kid (Ethan) decided he’d hijack this classic song and “Turn Things Up”.

Ever the adventurous one, he side stepped his red in the face teacher, and wiggled his way center stage.

To my dismay my prodigy proceeded to teach his classmates how to

Dougie, Shake a Tail Feather and NaNae!

Fred Astaire he was not!!!

I desperately tried making eye contact to signal him to end his impromptu soul train moment. Ever the prankster, I couldn’t get the kid to look me in the eye.

Every bone in my body told me he was purposely avoiding looking in my direction.

I would have thrown in the towel or a white flag to rescue my boy but he’d probably just thrown it back.

He was all over the place. With arms flailing he leaped off the stage to a chorus of laughs, just inches from me.

I didn’t know whether to hug him or choke him!

As I scooped up my dancing Tickle Me Elmo . . . it hit me!

His performance was reminiscent of “The Big Show” bankers put on when you’re hours and inches away from placing your John Hancock on the closing docs for your new home or million dollar opportunity.

You see …. when you’re on the biggest stage of your life “with thrones of family members eagerly waiting to applaud your closing” . . . that’s the exact moment “YOUR BELOVED BANKER” decides to debut his helter-skelter version of the Hokie Pokie!

First they begin asking for crates of “last minute paper work” you’d supplied months earlier.

Next, in the blink of an eye, your banker wearing a cheshire grin, begins telling you the previously stated terms “sweetheart deal” they quoted you has to be slightly modified!

In order to meet your required closing deadline your “Pop! Goes the weasel” banker intimates:

You’ll have to throw your left foot in . . . “a pinch more down payment to close”

You’ll have to throw your right arm in . . . “accept a slightly higher interest rate”

Because you’re between a rock and a hard place they bleed you dry, and spin YOU all about!

It’s as if they’re all over the place trying to squeeze every red cent out of YOU!

They avoid direct eye connect, while condescendingly implying its a take it or leave it proposition!

If you weren’t terrified your dream opportunity might be snatched up by a cash buyer in a nano second; you’d tell your bank to hit the road Jack!

Because of the bind you’re in; you grin and bear it, when you really want to choke him!

A solution to this rogue game of Hokie Pokie is actually quite simple!

Never put all of your eggs in one basket!

Because this isn’t the prom . . .

I highly recommend you bring more than one lender to the dance.

By that I mean, prior to dropping a dime in any lenders coffers I

suggest the following:

1.) Visit CreditKarma.com and check your FICO scores (It’s a free service with absolutely no fees)

2.) Restructure your debt so that your credit reports indicates no more than 30% usage on your credit cards. i.e $10,000 available only $3,000 owed!

3.) Bundle your pay stubs, tax returns and bank statement into a neat little package.

4.) Download (free) online software that allows you calculate your own debt to income ratio.

5.) Present your prospective lenders with an enticing loan package that clearly proves you can easily make said payments on a monthly basis.

Without question, once you’re able to nail this strategy …

You’ll leap frog the Hokie Pokie bankers, who’d rather spin you

around; and upgrade to those who’d break a leg ensuring you achieve

an extraordinary closing experience!

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